


Altered Visions

by Niki



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Alternate Universes, Cheesy Cliffhangers, F/M, M/M, Soul Bond, Visions, accidental infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-20 01:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1491157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han and Luke share a vision of a past that could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Old fic but I resisted the temptation to rewrite.

"Hey Luke, you ever wonder..."

"What?"

"What if your dad hadn't gone Vader?"

Luke Skywalker took a deep breath and turned to face Han Solo who was lounging on Millennium Falcon's 'social' area (which was much nicer now that Leia spent so much time on board the ship). He deduced his friend was merely bored, or maybe a little introspective in the face of his planned official bonding to Leia – at least his voice betrayed no wish to mock his long-time companion.

"Yes," he replied, in the end.

"How your childhood would have been like, growing up with Leia..."

"What the galaxy would have been like had the Emperor not been allowed to seize power. Yes, all this."

"Isn't that forbidden for you Jedi? All those 'what ifs'?" now the familiar grin was back.

"Not really... The Force can help you see infinite different futures but also the pasts that could have been."

"So, have you taken a peek?"

"No." Pause. "Well, not really," he amended.

"Not really?"

"I... found a crystal, at Coruscant, that enhances visions. It nearly forced a waking dream on me. I admit, I was almost afraid to let it go on."

"I'd be curious."

"You are," Luke grinned, and got up to reply to R2's summons.

"Come on, Han, we're nearly home."

Home. Coruscant didn't really feel like home to either man but it was still the centre of the new forming Alliance. Leia was there, helping to build the new governing body. She glowed in the face of the political challenge.

Luke was there to make sense of the remains of the old Jedi Temple. Han was... Han was bored, but Leia was there – they hadn't gotten around to formalising their union but shared quarters nonetheless. Luke was there, and his friendship was almost as much of a reason for the ex-smuggler to settle down.

He escorted Leia to thousands of missions (hence the present presentability of Falcon) and ran these missions with Luke. Quietly, he preferred the latter. Not that there was much danger, these days, they mostly gathered data or did PR when they couldn't wriggle their way out of it, but at least it wasn't as mind-numbingly boring as the endless diplomatic tangles.

Leia was on the landing pad to meet them with a hug and a kiss but an absent air hung around her and she soon excused herself to go attend a meeting or another, muttering something to Han about not waiting up.

With barely a glance at her retreating back Han turned to look at Luke. He was reluctant to let the younger man go – to his evening meditation or whatever – just yet. He didn't really want to examine his motives too closely when he asked Luke about the crystal.

It elicited a sigh from the young Jedi. "Fine," he smiled. "But I'm not sure I can share a vision with you."

He paused, then stared at Han in deep concentration. After a while the older man felt... something. He frowned and rubbed his forehead, and Luke's eyebrows shot up.

This time he definitely 'heard' something inside his head. 'Han?'

"Huh?" 'Luke.'

"Oh my," was all Luke got out. "Either you have hidden Force abilities, or we have grown close enough over the years for me to get through."

"Damn, that feels weird. Maybe you're just strong enough to get through. It's... weird. Not quite words... Hey! You can't read my thoughts, can you?"

Luke smiled at his worry, "Not unless you broadcast them," he teased, then asked, "have you ever experienced anything like this with Leia? She's too busy to practice, but she is strong in the Force, and your closeness..."

"No," Han admitted, not wanting to contemplate why he should be able to touch Luke's mind instead of hers.

While talking, they had reached the Temple, and Luke guided Han through the empty corridors into the cellars.

The crystal was a bit anticlimactic to Han. It was no bigger than his fist, unpolished, but emitting a dull gloom. Luke dropped on his knees in front of the pedestal on which it stood, and Han followed suit hesitantly.

For a while the blond just sat there eyes closed, then opened them to meet Han's gaze.

"I'm not sure I can summon up a right vision, but let's give it a shot!" His grin was one the younger Luke used to flash around but which this older version used only rarely, and Han was insanely pleased to have the farm boy back – even for a moment.

"Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and try to empty your mind."

A witty remark on his tongue, Han decided to swallow it, and did as he was told.

He heard a sharp intake of breath and then he was –

on Tatooine.


	2. It Begins, as Always, in Mos Eisley

Han recognised the cantina. He recognised himself – and Chewie – then suddenly he was inside the other Han, hidden behind his consciousness.  
That Han was – similar. But what little he had time to realise about the universe from his memories... no Emperor, no Empire. Jabba the Hutt, though, and lots of owed money.

Then his attention was drawn to the door where Luke was walking in. Without the droids and the old man, his white clothes were the simple garments of a farmer nonetheless. But... his stride to the bar was more confident, his posture somehow more grown up than it had been in Han's memories. He wondered if the 'real' Luke was inside that other Luke's head too. The Han of this world was enchanted by his boyish good looks, quite like Han could remember being.

Chewbacca seemed to be getting into some kind of trouble at the bar, and it was Luke who interfered. Reason didn't seem to work, so he tried something else – Han recognised the hand gesture of 'a Jedi mind trick' even from the distance. So this Luke was a Jedi already.

Chewie thanked the man, and he seemed to understand the growls. The other Han was fascinated by the encounter even though he had not recognised the gesture.

History repeating itself (Han didn't want to correct his thought processes), Chewie led Luke to Han's table.

"So. You speak Shyriiwook?"

"Well, I understand it – I lack the vocal chords to speak it," the younger man grinned, and the playfulness in his eyes surprised the 'real' Han. Was this 'his' Luke?

The conversation flowed, and the blond explained his current stranded status, "just killing time" until they fixed his ship.

"You don't live here?"

"Nah. But I try to visit every now and then. Work in my uncle's moisture farm. Well, he's really my grandma's stepson. It feels good to get rid of everything for a while."

Naturally, Falcon was mentioned. They boy was obviously rich but Han found himself... the other himself not even trying to fleece him. He needed to get out of the planet anyway. Always better with interesting company. So a ride was hitched.

"Where to?"

"Alderaan. I'm meeting my sister there."

"Is that where you're from?"

"No. But she seems to spend half her time there..."

"Falcon's ready to go whenever we are."

"Great! I just need to get my stuff from my ship, and tell uncle Owen to look after it until I can make some arrangements."

His ship impressed Han although he didn't show it. Understated, but it had cost a lot of credits to someone once. Customised to the hull.

"You fly yourself?"

"Yeah. My dad's the best there is – he was a child prodigy. Had to learn early to compensate," Luke grinned.

"Uh-huh. Maybe I'll let you try your hand at Falcon, then," Han grinned back, half seriously.

The real Han was not surprised when Luke's 'stuff' was revealed to include the two droids. C-3PO was equally annoying in this reality.

"What's the deal with him?"

"My dad made him. When he was just a kid. He was..."

"A wonder child, I get it."

This Luke was widely travelled so they had surprisingly much to talk about. Even the other Han could sense he was hiding something, though. Part of the secrecy was explained when the Corellian saw the lightsabre.

His "You're a Jedi!" came out almost accusingly.

"Not quite. I mean, I have the training but my teachers don't actually follow the Jedi Council's Codes."

It wasn't a long journey for a ship as fast as Falcon, and soon they were engaged in a discussion about practical matters. Like landing sites.

"I reckon we could go straight to the Palace. They've got their own port."

"You think they're going to let us land? Falcon isn't exactly known for state visits, you know."

Something in his tone made Luke shoot a quick glance at him. "Ah. A smuggler."

"Free trader." Han grinned, and was relieved to see the answering grin.

"Don't worry. Let me do the talking."

Han was amazed at this other Luke. His Lu.. The Luke in his reality had always been so serious, so intense, that only rarely did one see the playful, carefree side of him. This Luke was always laughing, playful, seemingly without a single worry. His bantering conversation with his sister over the comm was something he'd never hear from his Luke and Leia.

"...smuggler?! Luke..."

"I believe the proper term is a free trader," Luke grinned, and winked at Han.

"You want me to talk them into letting you land in the Royal garden in a smuggler ship? I'll get you for this," the female voice threatened but the effect was spoiled because it was obvious its owner was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Leia will take care of it," Luke reassured Han, still grinning.

And she did. An armed guard was there to greet them as well as a dark-haired woman who did not really look like Luke. Only the platonic hug told Han that this was the sister. The other Han had of course recognised her instantly – she looked the same. (Head)strong, beautiful, royal... But somehow, meeting her didn't affect this Han as strongly as it had him. Or had it? Part of the fun had just been seeing Luke ticked off. And adversarial situations had always encouraged him...

"Obi-Wan!" Luke shouted and rushed to hug a man old enough to be his father.

To his shock Han recognised him as the old, crazy Ben Kenobi. He didn't look half as old in this reality. Well, maybe he didn't live for decades in the middle of that damn desert.

He was accompanied by an older man, tall and regal-looking in his Jedi robes, silver hair falling half way down his back.

"Qui-Gon," Luke hugged him too.


	3. The Reality Check

Han came to with a start. Luke was blinking in front of him.

"Wow," he whispered.

"That felt... real."

"I guess it was the right vision, then," Han said helplessly.

"Yes... from what I could gather from the thoughts of that other Luke, Palpatine never had time to turn into a serious threat. He was revealed as a Sith early and his plans thwarted."

"And that changed all?"

"From what Obi-Wan has told me over the years..."

"It's damn freaky to hear about you talking to a ghost."

"Yes. Well, anyway. He was in love with his master, Qui-Gon, who loved him back, but felt Obi-Wan was too young for such a commitment, and died before they could get their heads out of their asses. And Ben always blamed himself for not being a good enough teacher for my father.

"In that other past, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan acknowledged their love and formed a deep bond that saved Qui-Gon's life in the battle that proved fateful in our reality. They trained Anakin Skywalker together, and when he fell for my mother he was able to confide in them and draw on their example, and was strong enough to defy the Jedi Council, to marry her... And apparently, that open love and support made sure that Palpatine couldn't bend him into a tool, and so Vader was never born.

"Both couples left the Jedi Order, and settled on Naboo, my mother's home planet. When Leia and I were born, they trained us in the ways of the Force because untrained power is a threat – even my father admitted that. But Leia never cared about that much. Her adopted father in this reality, Bail Organa, was a friend of Obi-Wan's, and as such, present in that reality as well. That Leia spent most of her time on Alderaan with him, learning about politics and leadership... That Luke... he explored the galaxy, looking for meaning."

He fell silent for a long time, then turned to look at Han. "Did the vision answer your questions?"

"Huh? I... yeah, well, I was just curious."

"Think about it... Love saved the galaxy from turning into the one we know."

They walked towards their quarters in complete silence, then bid each other quiet goodnights. Their apartments were along the same corridor, Han's a little further away. He could feel Luke's eyes follow him until he entered the rooms. Luke looked... worried.

Well, he had been uncommonly subdued. But the vision... the other Han. He had been fascinated by Luke Skywalker. The Jedi Prince. (Although, of course, not technically a prince.) Leia hadn't stood a chance. And... that Han was the same man as he, even if his world was drastically different from his.

The same man in all the essentials. And this Han was about to get bonded to a woman he...

Sleep was long in coming.


	4. Through a Glass, Darkly

It was a dream. It had to be. But it felt as real as the vision... and Han knew he was back in the other Han's head. Was Luke here, too? How could it happen without the crystal, without Luke's presence?

They were still on Alderaan, and the world was in flames. From what he could gather, some backdraft from the whole Palpatine fiasco had finally caught up with them. They were in war, and somehow, this Han had been roped in to help. He had made a choice, again. And as the real Han, this one had, in the end, come to Luke's aid. Not a thought to anyone else dying, to honour, to glory... Luke's safety had been his motivation then, as it was this Han's now.

And during the long months that followed Han watched his friend change. Grow. Grow more serious, more responsible, more... more like the Luke the other Han knew. It broke his heart, as well as his counterpart's – to see the laughter leave his eyes. They had never held the innocence the other Luke's had, but now even the lightness was gone.

Han followed the internal struggled of the other Han – he should be gone, not mixed up in this war, yet he stayed to watch the light turn into cold fire of determination. The kid had always known how to fight. Now he knew what it was like to fight for something.

They organised their defences, and came to a point where they could force the offence and end the war. Vital information was provided by the two older Jedi but Qui-Gon was seriously wounded in the process. Obi-Wan kept him alive with his own life force.

Han and Luke visited the pair in the over-flowing med center, and left in an introspective mood.

"Had he died, we would have lost Obi-Wan as well. Their bond is so deep they very likely couldn't outlive each other."

"I suppose they consider it a fair trade," Han mused.

"How so?"

"To link your life force with someone, to always have them in your head – never having to wonder whether they are alive or not..." Han closed his eyes, remembering the pain he'd felt, waiting for the younger man to reach the rendezvous point, not knowing if he was even still alive until he walked through the door three hours late.

"I envy them," Luke said, echoing his thoughts.

He'd walked to the windows in the end of the corridor, and was silhouetted against the stars. Han stared at his black-clad back and tried to hold on to his denial, but it was no use.

"Luke..." he walked closer until he was standing right behind the other man. Close enough to touch but not doing so. "You couldn't have a link like that with a non-Force user," he said quietly.

No reason, really, to hide or deny the emotions that had simmered beneath the surface ever since they'd met, now intensified by all they had shared since then.

"I've heard of a crystal they keep in the Jedi Temple at Coruscant. It's rumoured to intensify the Force experience so that even non-sensitives can sense it." His voice was almost unemotional, detached.

"Luke..."

"The world might end tomorrow. It is not very likely that either one of us will live through these following days." He turned to face Han, and his eyes were all but unemotional. "I will not spend this last night denying myself."

"Me neither," Han whispered. The other Han, in his head, could only marvel at how right the following kiss felt. Nothing like kissing Leia, or any other woman or man he'd ever kissed.

He spared a second's thought to how awkward it would be to be trapped inside these Han and Luke when they were having sex before being swept away by the sensation.

They broke the kiss to find an empty bed chamber in the Palace turned to barracks, and, not bothering to talk anymore, fell to the bed, entwined and kissing, desperately trying to fill this last night with as much love as they could.

Afterwards, they lay on the messy bed, still entwined, just looking at each other.

"If we survive tomorrow, we're going to go find that rock of yours," Han said quietly.

"Why, Han, are you proposing?" Luke's smile was a shadow of the old laughter, but at least the horrible despair in his eyes was gone.

"I want you in my head," he couldn't be more eloquent than that. But suddenly he was craving the commitment, the security, the presence of this bright being in his life, permanently.


	5. Twilight of the World

The frantic days of the Big End Battle had the real Han wondering what would happen to him if this Han died. It was close many times, closer than he'd wish, but even worse than that was the constant, nagging fear Luke might be dead.

Even after it was over, thanks in part to their actions, he didn't know whether the other man was coming back or not. Communications were sketchy, intel unreliable. The 'real' Han knew the feeling, had lived through it many times, but never so strongly as when waiting for Luke to come back from the second Death Star.

He hadn't had the luxury Leia had of 'feeling' that Luke was alive. He'd envied her that certainty. He'd made promises in his head that night, promises he never kept. Promises he forgot, lying next to Leia in a hut, in the Falcon, in many beds at Coruscant.

Same kind of promises this Han was making in his head. Of never letting the younger man go if he was lucky enough to get him back.

He did. Bruised, battered, his light dimmed - but alive.

And this Han kept his promises. It took them weeks to sort out the mess and get to Coruscant. In this reality the Jedi Order was still in full force so they needed to fight bureaucracy for the permission to use the Crystal. Obi-Wan and the recovered Qui-Gon still had their connections in the Temple, and in the end it was Qui-Gon's old master, Yoda, who came to their aid.

They made love next to the Crystal and it allowed their minds to meet. The luminous presence of Luke's mind in his made Han weep for the first time in decades. And for a second, the other Han could swear he'd met 'his' Luke inside the other Luke's head.

They were legally bonded on Naboo, on the same spot Luke's parents had been. At sunset, as the planet's Ritual of Union required. Luke's parents were present, and it was hard for the 'real' Han to look at the handsome, laughing, middle-aged man and remember that, in another world, he had become Darth Vader and caused him - them - so much pain. Leia, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were there, as well as Chewbacca and the droids.

Han looked into Luke's smiling eyes shining in the last rays of the setting sun, and felt the smile in the back of his head, were the younger man always was, now – and he knew happiness.

They couldn't yet be far apart for long because of the forming bond. Pain at separation would fade over time, but Han wasn't too worried about the length of the process. After all, he wasn't planning on letting Luke out of his sight anytime soon...

"Luke," he whispered, filled with wonder and love, but his voice sounded weird, hoarse, like he hadn't spoken in days and his mind... his mind was his own.

He opened his eyes, and met Leia's worried glance.


	6. Ooops aka Oh Shit

Han took in his surroundings, realising he was in a hospital bed, and Luke was on a bed next to his and... they were holding hands? He stared at their joined hands and Leia explained.

"We couldn't get you to wake up, you kept repeating Luke's name – then we found him in a similar condition, repeating your name. We got you to the hospital quarters and... you got agitated. When we were moving you, you accidentally touched, and it seemed to calm you both down, so we relocated you next to each other."

Luke was awake as well, but Han refused to meet his eyes. Self-conscious, he let go of Luke's hand... and the pain struck. He knew that pain. Pain of a recent mind link, a growing bond... he'd just experienced it... His eyes shot up to meet Luke's panicking gaze; their hands had resumed the touch on their own volition and that had ended the pain instantly.

"Oh shit," Han whispered, still staring at Luke.

"Leia... doctor... if we could have a minute..." Luke sounded calm, collected, polite, cool... but his eyes betrayed the same feelings Han was sharing.

Reluctantly, the others left. Han felt Luke had reinforced his request with a Force suggestion.

He got up to sit on the bed, facing Luke, not letting go of his hand.

"'Oh shit' about covers it," Luke smiled wanly.

"Fuck."

"Yeah, I might even go that far."

"Luke..." What does one say to a guy one's other self has loved physically as well as mentally in another reality?

Luke raised his other hand to touch Han's face. The touch was both familiar and strange – this body had never felt it before. His eyes drifted shut.

"I'm sorry, Han."

His eyes shot open again. "You knew this was gonna happen?"

"No!"

"Then how could it be your fault?"

"I never intended for you to find out about my love," he said simply.

"You..." He swallowed. "So it wasn't just the other Luke..."

"No. You think this would have happened otherwise?"

"No... Hey! The other Luke explained about bonds. They're never one-sided – they can't be. So you know this isn't your fault. Couldn't be. Not without my co-operation."

"Han..."

"I love you, you damned idiot!"

They just sat there, locking gazes, holding hands, letting it all sink in.

"I'm supposed to bond with Leia in a week," Han said quietly. "How am I going to explain this," he indicated their entwined hands, "to her?"

More staring, then, as if they couldn't help it, they finally leaned in for a kiss. The first in their physical reality. It felt...different because of that, and it was already enhanced by the mental link... it felt so good, and it felt like it lasted for ever, only to be...

...cut off by a shocked gasp from the door. Leia.


	7. Desperate Explanations and Glorious Futures

"Leia," Luke called when she tried to flee.

He got up, and Han had to follow to maintain the contact. Leia turned to face them but kept her eyes closed for as long as it took to take a deep breath. When she opened her eyes she looked pointedly at their joined hands.

"Must you do that?" she muttered, and the men shared a glance.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"What do you mean?" She frowned, irritated.

Han looked at Luke, then let go of his hand and took a step back. Then another, and another – the pain got worse with each step and the fifth was the last he managed before falling to the floor, whole body shaking in agony. He could feel Luke's pain through the link which made it even worse.

He couldn't move for the pain but then Luke was there, and the pain was gone. Luckily the Jedi training gave the younger man the strength to fight the pain a little better. A little. He was also sweating and pale after the ordeal.

They hugged on the floor for a minute before getting up to face Leia who looked... not as alarmed, really, as Han would have expected after such a display of suffering. But at least she didn't look as dubious any more.

"What was that?" she whispered.

"I think you'd better sit down."

They all did, Leia on the other bed facing the men who sat on the other one, again holding hands – skin on skin was the fastest way of calming the hungry bond. Han let Luke do the explaining.

"We shared a vision," he started simply, and Han could see Leia's incredulity on her face as she raised her eyebrow at them.

"Apparently, we have... had grown close enough over the years for Han to be able to... Well, he could of course be a latent Force sensitive... Anyhow, the Crystal I told you about – it enhances Force experience enough for even Han to feel it. I suppose it started as idle curiosity – we wanted to know how things would have been if Anakin had never become Vader. And... we did."

He recounted everything they had seen, and even this strangely cold Leia was moved by the idea of having had a different childhood. With Luke, her birth parents – and to still have had Bail Organa in her life.

"That's all very well but it still does not explain... this."

"Apparently... The other Luke and Han fell in love. They got bonded. And thanks to a crystal held in the Jedi Temple at Coruscant they were able to form a mental bond only usually possible for two Force users. Because we were inside their consciousness we were somehow linked too."

"That's it? Because this other couple joined you were joined, too? Just like that?"

Luke looked at her, then said gently, "I have to be honest with you, sister. No, that is not all. We couldn't have been joined if... if strong emotional bonds didn't already exist."

Leia stared at him, silent, in shock.

"Leia, you have to believe me. I would never have... I never said anything, did anything... I never would have..."

"You love him."

"Yes. I have... for a long time. But he was yours, I never..."

"And you." She turned to Han, interrupting Luke. "You love my brother."

"Leia, it's not that simple. I do love you, just... just not..."

"Not like Luke."

"We both had doubts about the bonding, Leia, you have to admit that! Thinking about whether what we shared was enough compared to... to everything else. We are so different. A princess and a scoundrel. That other Han... he had no doubts. The commitment felt right for him the way it never had for me."

"And now it has been forced on you."

"I... I hesitate less. This... feels right in a way we never did. I'm sorry, Leia – I just always felt we were not real somehow. You were always too good for me..."

"No, don't try to charm your way out of this."

She was quiet for a long time, and silenced them with a hand gesture when they tried to speak.

"You will leave, now. I can't have you at Coruscant – you'd draw too much attention, joined at the hip like that. I'll arrange... a mission in the Outer Rim. Something simple. Consider it your bonding present."

Again she silenced them, and got up.

"I will... One day, I will be happy for you. And I will want you close. You are... both of you... the only family I have left. But... not yet. Not now. Now I want you both out of my sight. No, don't... don't touch me..."

She was blinking back tears but managed to compose herself enough to walk out of the door as if nothing had happened. Proud, regal, strong. Han waited for the feelings of regret but they failed to show. Leia was a wonderful woman, but not for him. What he had now was so much more.

Still. "I feel like a heel," he said simply, and Luke closed his eyes.

"Don't," Han whispered, as the other man's guilt bled through the link. "We didn't... choose this. But we should have. We are right in a way Leia and me never were. "

"I love you, Han," Luke said, opening his eyes. It was the first time he'd said it straight out in this reality, and it made Han pull him close for a hug. 

"I love you too."

He would never have chosen to hurt Leia willingly but the prize he was holding in his arms was worth any pain - even hers. If that made him a bad person, so be it; he would not regret a thing. For the first time in way too long he was looking forward to what future would bring with hope instead of dread.

"Come on," he got up, grinning, pulling Luke with him. "Let's go!"

"Where to?" Luke smiled indulgently.

"Falcon. Future. You know."

He smiled. Luke smiled back. Yeah.

The End


End file.
